My daily uniform: Jeans, Danskos, some sort of top. I'm a Caucasian middle class woman with two kids, two years apart. I'm primarily a stay at home mom. I look like That Mom.
Never mind that I'm someone who owns sexy knee high boots and that I can dance my ass off for hours on any dance floor with nothing but water to fuel me. Never mind that I'm someone who has plenty of opinions and lots of passion and that I can make a killer margarita. Never mind that my political ideas range from fairly liberal to rather radical. When I walk down the street, I look just like the typical middle-of-the road stay at home "soccer mom". I don't look like someone who knows how to cut loose. I don't look like someone who rocks the boat. I don't look like someone who consciously tries not to exercise white privilege or class privilege. I don't look like someone with whom, when you hear the guy in line behind us making a stupid racist (or heterosexist, or classist) comment, you can expect to exchange a knowing glance, to wordlessly complain "what an asshole." I don't look like someone who drives around with a big rainbow sticker on the back of her car. But I am. My appearance murmurs, "status quo." But my sentiments shout "revolution!"
I wear jeans because they are comfortable and I feel like they look good on me. I wear Danskos because I had plantar fasciitis and I have to wear supportive shoes, and I like that I can easily slip in and out of clogs. But I recognize that the way I dress and the way I appear to people who don't know me gives off an impression that is really rather inaccurate, because of the stereotypes about people who wear what I wear, who look the way I do. Sometimes I think about going out of my way to find or create a funkier, more counterculture look for myself, but I'm too lazy, and part of me doesn't mind cloaking my identity a bit. I'm so mouthy, people don't have to spend more than a couple of minutes with me before they realize that I'm ~not~ actually That Mom. But it does give me pause for thought when someone like my friend Jeff tells me, "When I first met you, I assumed you were a Republican. The hair, the clothes. You know."
Of course, what you do is much more important than how you look. But it can be interesting to examine one's appearance and what it reveals (or implies), correctly or otherwise. Do you have a "look"? What do you think your appearance says about you? Is it fairly accurate? In what ways do you wear your identity openly, with your appearance, and how are you cloaking yourself, intentionally or not?
Sunday, December 30, 2007
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5 comments:
this is pretty funny! but yes, an interesting issue. I don't know - I'd personally rather see someone dressed generically, only to discover she is fascinating, than what normally happens, which is to expect the crazily-covered kids with mohawks or political tattoos to have something intelligent to say, which they usually don't. the best thing about dressing plainly is you manage to ferret out superficial people who judge people based on what they look like. i used to dress much more wildly than i do now. i do trend toward the eccentric, because i get bored. i would love to have a very tasteful and monochromatic wardrobe, but it's not going to happen...
You make a good point. If I dress generically, I can underpromise and overdeliver. Hopefully. Or, when I turn out to be as uninteresting as I look, no one will feel like they've been deceived. Yessss! ; )
Great writing! I loved this blog. While reading I thought, I want to get to know this person. I look forward to more.
And thanks for your comment on my blog (cvillebettyblog).
Maybe I've seen you - I got to UU's 11:15 service.
Best
T
it doesn't matter how i dress or what I do with my hair I always stand out like a sore thumb, why? because I live in a small town in japan and I am most certainly the only western in this neck of the woods so the assumptions people make about me are 'Oh, she is an English teacher' rather annoying nad a mold that i am trying to break out of.
I'd love to hear about what you might do to try to break out of that mold! Being the only person in one's ethnic group, living in a rural area in a foreign country, that definitely sounds like a challenge. Do people in the area ever take the risk to try to get to know you for you? I hope so! Thanks for posting!
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