I started running on Saturday. I signed up for the Women's Four Miler Training Program and I registered for the race (at the end of August) and someone in my women's group is even having tee shirts printed. So I'm really doing this.
This morning, it felt so great to go out my door, walk down my driveway, and run almost half a mile, turn around, and come back. Okay, let me qualify that. It felt great to walk out my door and know that I was ABOUT to run almost one mile. Actually RUNNING the mile, that didn't feel so great. My legs felt like lead. My lungs and heart were working hard. My body was yelling, "What? You have GOT to be kidding. You did this once already, two days ago. Last time you did this was maybe ten years ago. You did it two or three times then and then had the good sense to never try this monkey business again. What the hell? I was counting on Saturday being some kind of aberration. You're doing this again? Please stop this nonsense. Can I go lie down yet?"
But I let those naysaying thoughts go, and I did it. And on Wednesday I'll do it again. And then again on Saturday for the weekly training run. The program for beginners that I'm following has us start with just running three days a week in the beginning, with a day or two of break in between. Thank God.
I really did get to walk out my door and "run away" this morning. I can't tell you how many times I have fantasized about doing that when my day was really hard and I had exhausted my patience and my coping skills. Running out of the house this morning was really empowering. Funny though, one of my favorite things about it was coming home and hearing my kids cheering, "Yay mommy!" from the living room. It made me forget the tantrums and the meltdowns that I had to cope with from the moment they woke up at 5:45am!
This running thing is my latest step in my journey to feel like and to practice being my Best Self. What are some projects that you've taken on, or habits you've developed or broken, that have helped you practice being your Best Self? Any advice for me on how to stick with this when I feel like quitting, as I am sure I will? I will be posting some motivational quotes on my fridge and bathroom mirror, and around my computer monitor. Your own words or the words of others - doesn't matter. Post a comment!
2 comments:
OK, so here's my running story: once upon a time, a long, long time ago I trained for and ran a marathon. Slowly. But I ran it, darn it, and it hurt. Hurt like giving-childbirth-is-just-a-pinch kind of hurt. So, there I was in the last of my 26.2 miles, aching like I've never ached before in my life, wondering just how in the hell I was going to get across the finish line, when I decided to try on a thought. The thought went something like this: "I am so incredibly lucky to be inhabiting a body right now that can feel all this pain. This pain means I am alive." I didn't even really *think* that thought, I just tried it on like at hat, but as soon as I did... Christine, it was amazing. I felt this incredible lightness like all of a sudden I "got" it. I still felt all the pain, mind you, but instead of feeling, "Oh gawd, I hurt so much :(", I suddenly felt, "Oh, God! I hurt so much!!" It is really hard to capture the moment in words, but it was one of the most profound experiences in my life so far. I guess my point in sharing this is to remind you (and myself) of the privilege that it is to be in a body that can run, however slowly, and that can feel all that pain. Not everyone has that opportunity and one day, neither will we.
Wow. Elaine, that story made me stop in my tracks. I will absolutely remember it. I'm getting a little teary-eyed just thinking about it and thinking about my future 90-year-old self (may I be so lucky to live that long) looking back on my 37-year-old self, and thinking, "Damn right you should get out there and run in 2008, cause what I wouldn't give to be able to run like that now in 2061!" My future old lady self thanks me for honoring her by doing today what I may very well not be able to do in some future tomorrow. And yes, what many would love to be able to do right now.
Ironically, getting and staying in shape today will help me to improve my chances of being able to be more active in 50-plus years. Another plus.
Thanks for your great story, Elaine. Bawdy Fairies are wise. : )
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